My heart: Unedited. Raw.

I can fill my time doing many things but unless I do them unto the Lord, I am left with a nagging sense of disappointment.

The mundane in my life must become miraculous. I must change my way of thinking.

How can this be?

I must see that each thing before me is an opportunity to praise my Father. To worship Him.

Lord, this is so cumbersome…this daily three steps forward and two steps back. I feel like a child learning how to walk.

But wait, oh, I am you say? Well…that helps put it into perspective….

So I need not be ashamed or feel guilty that I’m only learning? Oh, I see… those who think they know how to walk completely without asking for help will seem like they have it all together but I shouldn’t be fooled? I never want to get to the place where I think I have “arrived” until the day You come to take me with You into eternity, Lord.

You want me to reask you each day for help? Well yes, I do! That is why I was down on myself. Because I thought I was doing something wrong, because I could never figure out how to do it; how to walk all by myself. But now I understand, this is right where you want me to be: To be utterly dependent on You. To be poor in Spirit. To come to you as a child comes to a Good Father, and be myself. Be real. Open up and confide in You. To find my confindence and completeness only in Your arms!

I was sad that I felt like I had no one who really understood me like you do. I got sad and pouted that my husband and friends just didn’t seem to get it. Then you revealed to me I had it all backwards, in my perception of how it really IS.

I will now REJOICE because you completely know me! I will dance because I have You to lean on each day! I will not put the people in my life on a pedestal that they can not and never will reach! I will expect them to love me if they love You but I will not expect them to take your place. No one should ever take your place. I will learn to love people correctly. I will love them because You are love. And I accept that these lessons you teach me, are never ending as long as I’m willing to learn them. This is another way you show me love. Your love is so creative, Lord. The ways You show me are different and alive each day.

Help me to remember this moment oh, Lord. That my words are powerful. That what I choose to speak forth has consequences whether good or bad. Help me to remember how when I cry out to You each day for direction, for comfort, for peace…that You are listening. You hear Jesus interceding on my behalf and seeing that He says “This one is Ours, Father,” You so graciously answer me when we call. You send the Holy Spirit to give me what I need. You tell angels to do as you command. You are my only God, forever Lord I will worship You.

-Meghan Weyerbacher

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