What To Do When You Feel Left Out

For the moms who can’t make it to that function, that church event, that opportunity you’ve been hoping to jump at – be of good cheer…

Don’t let guilt or jealousy derail your day. –Tweet This

I’ve been there, and though I am no expert at anything, I do have too much experience in the pity party department, right down aisle 5 titled, “It’s Not Fair” which is next door neighbors with aisle 6 titled, “I feel so left out.”

If you are a Christian woman such as myself who delights in small-crowd fellowship and find yourself missing out lately due to a possible number of reasons such as: lack of funds, poor planning, sick kids, too many kids, kids in general (lack of sitter issue etc…), just let me say: I understand. (small chuckle there at my kid humor)

Not long ago I found myself murmuring, complaining under my breath, and straight up getting frustrated at every door of adult conversation shutting in my face.  I mean real face-to-face convo. Not the messenger on social media.

To be quite frank, in my sarcastic moments I started to joke there was a conspiracy going on. One where fate was sabotaging my adult conversation life. Obviously this is not the case, I am a just being silly,  but that is what happens sometimes.

Sometimes when I get  hurt, it bubbles up to the surface as a chuckle…as if to shrug off the jab it just made into me.  Sometimes I pretend, “Well, I didn’t want to go to that _____ anyways.” I try and cover my true feelings.  Self-protection? Self-preservation, possibly?

So, what’s the problem?

*The problem is, if I do the above out of reaction to my hurt heart without g-o-i-n-g to the Father about it, it can very easily root down into the nooks and crannies of my heart.

*So how do I thrive inwardly even when outer circumstances seem to stack up against me or my cause/call?

*How do I choose life instead of death even when my feelings are hurt or I am confused or just plain feeling blah?

I have the answer. Are you ready for it?

It’s simple.  Don’t let it breeze past your eyes too quickly now…


# 1  -Abide. Abide in Him!

Abide: remain, rest, stay, lodge, inhabit, dwell



  • Some Ways to Abide & Create
  1. Start a Breakfast/Bible time with your family
  2. Take a note book with you to that scheduled appointment or your lunch break to jot down thoughts or prayers.
  3. Get up extra early and spend time with the Lord alone {as hard as it was for me not being a morning person…this has helped me thrive tremendously and it is getting a bit easier each time I do it) hint: I would actually  say this is probably my most favorite and productive piece of advice ever.
  4. Turn on worship music while taking a bath, literally soak in His Word
  5. Find a scripture each day that focuses on an area you need help with or encouragement in, and then memorize it by repeating it out-loud multiple times that day, or writing it down {could use a sticky note and put it on your dash, kitchen counter etc}  My favorite is still Psalm 66:8-9 and I memorized it in a time of doubt. Read about it here.
  6. Listen to a podcast of your favorite Bible teaching while cleaning out the fridge or doing stretches.
  7. Take your camera and go outside and see if you can find at least one thing to capture that describes how you feel.  Or take a photo and pair it with a word that describes how you feel. Take that to God.  Be real with Him.
  8. Write a thoughtful note to a friend or neighbor.
  9. Invite someone over to your place & share the love.
  10. Play with your hubby, play with your kids! Then talk about how good God is!
  11. Make a list of things you are thankful for today.

When we let go of unrealistic expectations (or the world’s expectations, OR our own faulty ones) and appreciate what God’s given us and how far we’ve come, joy, peace and creativity come more naturally!  Science has actually proven that when we are stressed, our brains’ creativity department has to work harder. (Part of my Compel training!!)


There are a zillion other ways to abide in Him.  I just want to encourage you to seek Him no matter where you are or what you are doing.

When we abide in Him it is so much harder to get side swiped by the selfishness that accompanies jealous thinking, “less than” thinking, or lonely thinking.

Jealous, “less than” and lonely thinking only produce eventual inner death. – Tweet This

Cast those suckers out as quick as you detect them starting a party in your head.  Once you identify the lies, it becomes easier to get into the habit of casting them out and replacing them with God’s Truth.

The Holy Spirit produces Life and Peace in us. {see below}


Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.


Romans 8:6 NIV

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.


Let’s Recap

So if you’ve ever been invited to a pity party, or found yourself meandering about one subconsciously, let the red flags fly high and high tail it outta there sister! Its plan is to suck the life out of you and those around you.

Take those wounds, those stings to God and let HIM protect you.

You can’t protect just yourself by yourself.  We weren’t made to fight alone.



This week I linked up with FaithBarista, Grace & Truth, CoffeeForYourHeart, #TellHisStory.




Reference from above:




4 thoughts on “What To Do When You Feel Left Out

  1. What a great post and excellent tips to abide in Him! I’m really blessed to be able to have quiet time each morning before my house wakes up, but after it gets alive in here worship music is my go to for keeping my joy. I also enjoy listening to the bible on my phone while running or walking. Great post!

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