When Life Bottoms Out, Both God and Husband Catch Me

He got the news that would change the course for us.  I thought it was odd his company had him rolling in late at night and told him to sit and wait until morning to do anything.

He was almost 3 hours away, I was in our bed alone.

Breathing heavy, tossing and turning, trying to fight the fear back that this may be happening again, I finally went to sleep hours later.

Morning came, though I did not care to greet it. I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, and my heart and mind could not prepare me enough to be okay with it.

We were supposed to sign the papers on the house the very next day, after already hitting a snag before and receiving a miracle to be able to move forward, I questioned the Lord in my heart, “Why would you let us get this far only to let this happen, Lord?”

It hurt.  It just plumb hurt.

Matt called. It was as I expected.

“They let me go, hun.”

My throat dropped to my feet I think.

“Alright. It will be okay. God always gets us through, He always provides.”

The Truth always wins out, especially when trying to be strength for him. But the truth is, He was the strength for me this time.

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God put us together like a beautiful Picaso, our flaws and dings complementing one another.

This day was a day when his calm and habit of taking the raw in stride, helped me to not feel like I had to lose it.

I could have faith. I could defy my flesh by still believing everything would somehow be okay. Somehow, some way.

***

A couple weeks before, my husband had been in an accident when another semi truck gave no warning but speedily moved to the left lane.  My husband had no warning that there was stopped traffic in front of that semi, so when the other guy quickly moved over, he had to slam on his breaks and veer into the emergency lane to avoid hitting them.

The only thing was, his tail end of the trailer happened to catch the very last vehicle’s tire, causing a multiple vehicle accident. And the other speedy semi kept rolling on, probably making it to where he had to be that day…

They let my husband go. Fired.

They had to for legal purposes I’m sure.

But I found myself wrestling with not being angry at the other truck driver.

Wresting with why my husband seems to always get the short end of the stick.

He was such an honest and hard working man. Yet this happened so much to him, for reasons that leave me feeling compassion toward him, not anger.

Reasons like, you laid on your brakes too hard. You’re fired.

You left your phone at home. You’re fired.

You’re fired. We don’t have to tell you why.

You’re laid off.

Bye.

I guess I’ll never know this side of Heaven.

Almost a decade of job loss, multiple trips overseas to fight for freedom, sticking it out in a marriage when it isn’t the easiest, ….yup….I think God has some thick-skinned plans for us.

My spirit is thinking God is preparing us for something bigger than ourselves.

But the process, the potter’s wheel, is not always the way we think it will look.

Weeping at Night

We are real. We are human.

Sometimes we struggle with the why’s then learn to let go.

Other times we have super strong faith right away and say, “Whateva!” to the trial.

This time…

I battled emotions on Friday.

I sought God on Saturday.

Sunday He freed me of the house we wouldn’t get.

I asked Him to just totally break it off from me.  I do not like feeling miserable and I wanted to just get past it and be joyful again, especially for the sake of my kids.

It was amazing!

He answered my prayers in such a mighty way!

My heart felt warm and hopeful and full of joy that day. I was able to praise my Father and pray for others at church, and not even dwell an ounce on our situation!

Because I didn’t care anymore.

We had our house packed and ready to move into one we would not be ale to get now.  There was a for rent sign in our yard.  We had no clue what tomorrow held.

All I could think was: God’s got this. He has a plan. Count it all joy. Whatever you have for us, I know we can get through with You on our side.

I was in the Word a lot last night, more hungry than weeks before, sifting through my Father’s words like a treasure-hunter.

Many scriptures stood out to me but one that I want to share today is from 2 Thessalonians.

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“…rewarding your faith with His power…”

“..then everyone will be praising the name of the Lord Jesus Christ because of the results they see in you..”

Yes. This is good and shows me that in life’s trials, through our perseverance and continued trust in our Father, He will use this as a witness to speak to others hearts.

***

Have you ever went through something that left your jaw on the floor?

Have you ever went through something that left your stomach in knots?

Have you ever went through something that left you totally feeling out of control?

My prayer is that we can look past the trials themselves and see deeper the effect they can have on our character, growth and witness.

We don’t have to be strong. He just wants us.

The Word is true when it says in Psalms 30:5

..Weeping may last through the night,
    but joy comes with the morning..

Joy Comes

That Sunday, Mother’s day to be exact…I could have been weighed down knowing we had only one more paycheck coming with rent due soon, but God sought to it that I was filled with bucket fulls of hope, faith and joy – and for that I can not thank Him or praise Hm enough.

My husband went to the church nursery where my mom had gone to take my 4 year old and my nephew when they started getting a little too silly.

He made her come back out into the sanctuary with me so she could enjoy the service.

While the pastor was preaching, he began to talk about God’s bigger plan in things. I can not remember where he was preaching out of, a lot has happened since just last week – but this I won’t forget.

Mom reached over and put a sticky note on my Bible page that was laid open.  She has been there through it all. The ups and downs in our family, our marriage and now this too.

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She always has a smile on her face and looks at the bright side of things.

This is why I am blessed. Not because of money or things, but because I am surrounded my unfailing. Unfailing love from God, my family, and my friends.

Friend, if you are going through it, try to look at the bright side of life.  You are not alone and this too shall pass. Let’s lock arms and have faith together, shall we?


This song by Lauren Daigle has been in my head for a long time. I find myself singing it even when I don’t realize it. The words are awesome and tell it perfectly.

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see

I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!

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Linking up with wonderful women of God today:

Grace & Truth


7 thoughts on “When Life Bottoms Out, Both God and Husband Catch Me

  1. Girl, your words and all your brave coming through in this post… just know you’re in my prayers still, and He will, as my friend Bethany says, follow through with the order He has created in the middle of our chaos! xxoo

    1. Oh I thank you for your prayers! I haven’t felt brave, but it must be the Holy Spirit welling up giving me hope seriously – that and having gone through this lots of times, He’s proven He always provides in some way! God bless you, Christine!

  2. Girlfriend…… I heard that song on the way to work first thing this morning… This line always stops me, “When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through” And I’ve been on the other end of that phone call too, thinking I have to hold it all together when my husband has been let go… But through lots of trial and error, I finally found myself in the place it seems you found a lot quicker! So here’s to our great big loving God who is always in the details holding it all together ♥♥♥ Prayers!

  3. Hi, Meg. Yes, I’ve had my fair share of trying times…and more to come, I am sure. But one thing I know for sure is that He is faithful to bring out His best in all situations. Keep focused on the good things – the blessings. Your children, your husband who seems to work so hard to provide for his family. Your mom, who give Godly wisdom when needed – believe me when I say that many of us ache for that kind of relationship with our mothers – but know it will never happen. I pray your husband finds work that he is passionate about and that brings him great joy.

    Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth.

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