Her eyes ran across the text she had just received from a dear friend. Giving the food on the stove a quick stir, she tapped the spoon against the edge of it.
The steam rose up and filled her nose with an aroma she was grateful for.
The kids ran about, though they should have been doing what they were told to do. Of course, she couldn’t remember what that was right now.
It would come back to her as soon as she did a walk-through of the house. The light bulb moments were a frequent happening around there, but she preferred to call them “mom-brain” moments.
The words were simple, “How are you doing today?“
Today wasn’t going to be the day she glossed over the inner battle. Today was the day to ask for help. For prayer. And believe God would listen and respond, somehow or some way.
“Not too good.“
How much would she share? She didn’t want to overload her friend. She fiddled with the phone and paced the floor a bit, biting her lip and then skipped over around the corner of the wall where she could think in quiet without the kids seeing her.
They were playing something loud and she knew if she didn’t ask for prayer now it may not happen for a while. Kids had a way of finding their mom and needing something.
She let out a breath and continued, “I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Please pray for me!“
She waited for a minute then remembered the food.
“Time for lunch, kids!” And they all gathered at the table to give thanks and eat. She put her phone away during the meal so she could focus on them and clear her head.
Sitting there, just enjoying the hot meal without trying to get anything accomplished, was refreshing.
And just like that, in a single thought-moment, she felt a spark of Hope.
That was it!
She was putting so much pressure on herself. To live up to a standard of what? Was it God’s standard or one she made up on her own?
That her house had to be so-so and that they had to do their school work a certain way for it to be counted legit?
She had lost her passion in homeschooling, though she knew it was a calling God had directed them towards. Point blank, she had lost her joy just being mom.
No wonder homeschooling had turned chore. Yeah her husband was away a lot, but she remembered a time when that hadn’t effected their routine on such a large level.
Whether it was just getting worn down and needing to switch things up, or a need for a massive overhaul in her mama heart -she knew change was possible.
Something inside her stirred when she allowed herself to ask these questions and think about these things.
They enjoyed the rest of the lunch meal together and the sudden change in the atmosphere was evident. The atmosphere inside of her mainly.
The circumstance had not changed at all! It was like a fog just lifted and a sudden giddiness came over her. She knew this was God’s doing. God’s saving.
She smiled as she cleaned up the table and wiped everything down. She almost forgot about her phone and went to check it.
Her friend’s words always showed her pure and kind heart:
“I know how you feel, girl! It is going to be okay – you will get through this! Just remember to lean on God, and know that I am here and I am praying for you! Do you need anything while we are out? I love you!“
And just like that, she felt hugged. Thank you, God for these people. Thank you for listening to me and responding how You do.
You are reading Part 4 of The Trucker’s Wife
If you are new to the series and want to start from the beginning, click here.
Copyright ©2016 by Meghan Weyerbacher
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To read about learning to delight in our kids rather than “deal” with them, click here.
Bettie is a nurturing woman of God and writes about her journey of chronic illness and how God is teaching her things in this season of life. Bettie is a huge encourager and bright light each week in my post feed, and I appreciate her honest words so much!
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