When the world can’t sit still and that is the very thing I long for…
..where will I go but to the Lord?
The sky is a smokey shade of periwinkle, the wind strong and hair whipping. I can hear the sound of the big trucks on the parkway far off. The small shrubs out front are shivering in the cold breeze as they convulse and then hold still for a minute to catch their breath.
My friend, coffee, was just sitting there getting cold as I wrote out a prayer for the day. I glanced down at my calendar and journal, both filled with purposeful thoughts and goals, reminders, prayers and thanks alike.
I’ll not understand the reason I ever stopped this way of life.
It was a slow fade I suppose. Nevertheless, in a year’s time I went from peace in the unknown and trials, to wildly terrified and worn out, back into God’s loving arms and feeling His peace once again.
Father has me in awe that He is not so turned off from this childish seeming behavior that He’d leave me to figure it out myself. Instead, He is always waiting with open arms to scoop me up into His lap and reassure me He is still Father and Holder-together-of-everything.
Like a frightened child I had been, from nightmares that seemed to play out in my real life. Finally I figured out that though the pain doesn’t necessarily lessen, there is a way to defeat fear moment by moment.
One of the ways is realizing the enemy always makes things appear worse than they really are and that no matter the pain or struggle, I can deliberately close my eyes to fear-giving things and focus my eyes and thoughts on Father, who is Giver of peace and hope.
I open His word and remember His breath is what fills my lungs. He really is running this show, but in His humble and gentle way.
It doesn’t mean I am playing pretend like a child, or in denial for that matter. It simply means honing in on the One who has the real power. Father.
As real muscles need rest, so also do spiritual ones.
This past week I backed away from the blog, social media, and all things computer/phone related to just rest. My faith muscle needed to rest in Father. His strength.
I drove a lot. I’m not saying there weren’t some crazy full days of serving. But it was from a different place. A spiritually rested one. A joyous one.
I can see why the enemy wouldn’t want me to get rested physically and wake up at 4am and be with my Father each day. It’s pretty amazing and powerful. Nonetheless, I am trusting the power from my Father is more than able to conquer slue foot in my life.
I took time to stop and take pictures. A favorite pastime of mine.
I was blessed by another blogger friend during this time. I received a book in the mail that has already been a useful tool toward this years goal of healthy change. It is called Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman, by Ann Ortlund.
I have been soaking up this book and will admit something akin to a small fire was ignited within me. I did the hard thing I’d been putting off of overhauling my drawers and closets.
I was already a minimalist anyhow, I just needed the nudge I guess. So I got rid of everything of mine except for a few pairs of shoes, a few shirts and a few pants.
Less laundry equals more living. – Tweet
Thank you, Heather. Thank you, Ann. Thank you, Father.
Her use of notebooks and planers reminds me of how I always envisioned things but never kept the wheel spinning. I am usually very good at starting things indeed but have a real knack for fizzling out.
Finishing something felt good. – Tweet
As pastor said this week though, “How we finish is far greater than how we start [this life].“
More on this topic to come I feel.
This past week on my blog break I enjoyed time with Father, no other concerns but Him and family and church family, and whoever else was in the path thereof.
As I sit here, writing from rest, it was honestly hard to open up the computer again because I wasn’t sure if I was about to mess up the peace.
Then I remembered seasons, and I remembered faith. And I remembered thoughts that were stayed on Him.
Father says when we commit our ways to Him our plans will succeed [see Proverbs 16:3].
I am not even sure what my plans exactly are, though I know the deep rooted dream and varying visions that lie in my heart. They all have to do with and point back to Him.
The joy of not knowing fully or trying to have control is that I know just the outline, just enough to go in the right direction but have wisdom to let Father lead.
Shiver goes up my back. The heat must have kicked off. I can hear the wind slashing through the tree branches and smacking the side of the house.
I look over at my friend, coffee and he wants to be warm again. Time to gravitate toward the heat. Thermostat and microwave, here we come.
Father oh, I love you and I thank you for these blessed people you have put in my life. They may never know fully the important role they are playing but I want you to bless them and lift them up. Fill them with Your goodness and let them find you in the everyday. In the valleys and mountaintops alike. Lead them beside still waters and keep their hearts at peace, no matter what the world is screaming at them. We are under the shadow of your wings forever. Amen.
Join me back here for the #TeaAndWord Tuesday linkup on Jan. 31st!